Brian O’Leary on Free Energy – Stop the Drunken Binge on Fossil Fuels 

Brian O’Leary on Free Energy and New Paradigms in Science

Spineless Biden | Subsidize the Planet Earth

when I listened to the powerful speech opening the COP26 by António Guterres, the United Nations secretary general today, and then read about Biden’s continued support of Big Oil…I could do nothing else than spew out these words. Still to be edited.

Spineless Biden

now you got me sighin’

now i know who you’re rooting for

that’s why we gotta go in through the backdoor

to the COP26 Backdoor that is cuz Time is Running Out

there’s no Planet B so listen up and hear us shout

role playing, carefully choosing words that are not the truth

not defending the rights of the people nor all the life on planet earth

you can ignore this and pretend that there is no cure

you must not have a conscience, that is for sure

because we know we got this, a very simple fact

that when people come together, under strong leaders, they can act

now we know where you really stand

allied to Big Ag that lays fallow all the land

allied to the Oil and Pharma industry too

it’s no surprise that you’re one of the few

more Billionaires made during the Covid year

and their incomes surging out the door

while the rest of the population and earthlings suffer

how can we possibly believe that you’d do any other 

with your words, you tread carefully 

to guard your finances and prosperity

disregarding the knowledge and truths of scientists

you’d rather pretend that you simply can’t hear this

Hearing the words of the UN Leader 

whose words of truth couldn’t be much clearer

we’re ruining the planet, our only home

and the habitat of animals and insects that once had a place to roam

the planet can feed us

life will treat us

but not when we’re enslaved to an economy 

that doesn’t appear to give a fuck about reality

we all know that we’re ruining the earth and leaving it to spoil

you bury your head in the sand and ignite your pipe with the flames of your buddies in Big oil 

you know as the UN leader has said

that we’re fucking up the planet until everything is dead

you can bend over to pocket more money

from the industries that drill and dig and take for themselves. all the honey

if you’re only listening to the GDP as the measure of wealth

you’re leaving out a big part of the picture – the planet’s health

you can shout the ‘more jobs’ banter and pretend that it’s more important

than caring for your elderly neighbor or the welfare of an infant

if doesn’t matter whether it’s human, insect or bird

they have a right to life and are sacred, or haven’t you heard

the human weakness is to only to think of himself

and not give a fuck about anything else

we can all change this

I know we have it in us

we need to stop being isolationists

and put our efforts to the test

now the air, water and oceans are polluted

and all the nutrition of the soil has been diluted

chemicals made to kill the soil

fossil fuel industry ignore their harm and only care about more oil

buddies in the industries that annihilate life on the planet

guess your bending over so that you can reap some of the profits

that’s why we got to sound out the alarm

and visit the COP26 Backdoor to learn about the harm

a life is a life, whether amphibian or insect

a tree is as significant and as the time ticks

we may be losing it all because of not caring

yet we know that we can turn this around with information we’re sharing

no time to put up walls or borders

just because they are allegedly government orders

the climate has no borders and mass extinction has no clue

about what a leader dictates, if it is not true

FDR knew this, he wasn’t spineless

he created the WPA – Works Progress – and that was timeless

he got people together to act in unison 

to build back a better place, than the one that they were left in

we know that this earth could be a paradise

we know what to do, time to stop rollin’ the dice

acting together, sharing expertise and inspiration 

joining together all over the globe to share the perspiration

leaders bending over to industries that slice, dig and plummet 

the land, the waters and all the life, that’s why we have this summit

but if nothing changes in 26 years

most of us who are not idiots, have a number of fears

that things going the same way, protecting the status-quo

is something that needs to be addressed, these leaders have got to go

demand accountability for the industries that leave their garbage in the seas

we already know that our carelessness and negligence is killing the birds and the bees

we know we can do this, sharing information and compliance

being guardians and stewards of life on this planet is not rocket science

humans need to think beyond their own borders

the reality of global warming isn’t listening to your orders

you will be remembered in history now

as just another party man who threw away the plow

if droughts, fires and floods aren’t enough of a warning

guess you think climate chaos has nothing to do with global warming

yes climate change is human induced and that’s only part of the story

we slice and dice, dissect and fracture the land that is animals’ territory

isn’t it about time to think beyond your own self and foes

and have the ethics and morality to bring this industrialization to a close

we already know what we have to do

we have the ingenuity and the tools too

there’s only one thing stopping the human population

from doing what’s right across all the nations

we know the earth is rich and that it can feed us all

it’s up to us to hold those accountable and stand together tall

shame on you Biden for not even tryin’

if i didn’t believe in the minds and hearts of many, you might have me cryin’

i’m wondering how you can honestly feel

to say what you’re saying and believe that it’s real

now’s the time to create a new brand

banding together to protect our land

to do what’s right and nurture the habitats of life across the eartth

and live in harmony, subsidizing the health of our planet first

let’s do this! together!

Tribute to my mother – Lois Vivian Johns – on her birthday November 2nd

It was in Philadelphia that my mother met my father

Yes, it’s that time of the year again. Today, November 2nd, is the day my mother Lois Vivian Johns was born in Pennsylvania. 

I thank you for providing me with all that you taught me and influenced me to speak my mind. 

She was a fiery spirit. Always had a lot of energy and drive. She would also tear up easily, she had a lot of compassion and allowed herself to express her emotions freely, that were close to her heart. 

James and Lois Keiter loved one another and were devoted to each other

She and my father met when they were both attending school for medicine at the University of Pennsylvania in Philadelphia, PA. Their birthdays were just two weeks apart. They were born the same year. She was valedictorian in high school; student, typically having the highest academic achievements of the class.

They shared their joy of music and dancing, of nature and doing physical sports (she was a golfer, tennis player and skier). She prepared healthy meals for her family of four children. She and my father enjoyed art (creating and admiring) and culture, with th

Lois Joan and Carol

I am proud of you Mother. A women who always asked others how they were doing, and never, ever complained about her own self. She simply continued to always move forward and have a lot on her plate, to contribute to the community. 

We always had animals. A love of nature was always present. She maintained a beautiful home, with decorations, flowers, the work to maintain the lovely outdoors part of our property. She always put effort into maintaining things, and loved to read and keep her mind occupied with challenges. 

My parents together planted 50 trees on their new property (which was a treeless hill with only wild flowers. They created a mini forest wonderland that brought me into the world caring immensely about other creatures, and  biodiversity.

Halloween in her 90’s

I appreciate and respect you very much and certainly am proud to have you as my mother. 

Dancing with her grandson in law Wes Hornig at his wedding to Megan Keiter
outside trimming flowers on her property
Lois and her daughter Carol at a luncheon at the Lebanon Country Club

I mist you!

Hallowed Autumn Beauty  |  Scary ambience of War Games  |  Halloween day 

Scary war games on an otherwise peaceful hallowed Halloween day º October 31st in Pennsylvania, USA. Blustery clouds and gusting winds sculpting the sky and light. Long shadows, low beams of light. Catching small patches of fields left to be wild, interspersed with tamed mowed lawns; nature torn apart from itself. 

It would have been an otherwise perfect day except for the methodical bomb blasts going off perpetually for several hours coming from Indian Town Gap 11 miles away. These low rumbles were replaced with consistent loud metal sprays of gunfire at a closer range, the State Police Academy in Hershey. I guess a Sunday Halloween afternoon is as good a time as any to practice for battles. 

The colors, patterns, light contrasts and nature that I saw, kept making me stop.

https://photos.app.goo.gl/WBiMqcVBY94rfHJB6

The deer I saw was followed by two more a couple minutes later. I was going to visit the horses and donkeys, who know immediately when the deer are nearby.

Corporate Gifts are Giftig | Backdoor to COP26

Corporate gifts are giftig (German/Deutsch for poisonous) to government leaders. Seducing them to remain mute and dysfunctional, as they deposit them in their bank accounts.

Got the Point?

Register and listen for free to all 2 weeks of the COP26 educational events presented by

COP26 Backdoor – We Don’t Have Time

Listen to the Scientists, Entrepreneurs, Farmers, Artists, Journalists and Intellectuals who are reaching out to help people to help themselves.  NOT GOVT LEADERS, many of whom have done not-a-fucking-thing FOR THE LAST 26 YEARS OF CLIMATE CONFERENCES. 

Instead, hear the voices of community leaders and people who have come from the Global South and all over the world, who wish to defend their habitats, their right to clean air, water and nutrient-rich soil, whose lands are being washed away or scorched by human induced petroleum fed global warming. 

Learn about sustainable, fair, renewable and positive actions that we can take in our own homes and communities and ways to bring back ownership to ‘the Commons’ – our own resources of fresh air and water and wildlife, pulled into the wealth and responsibility of the entire community (not funneled off to the CEOs of those who have taken private ownership). 

(I  just made this above paragraph up, because that’s what I’d be interested in hearing about). 

Nevertheless, listen to the truth and experiences of people who are there to share their stories, not the lies with ties to those dangling their misinformation to sway the public into buying into them.

COP26 Full Backdoor Program of Events – We Don’t Have Time

Register for tickets to local hubs here: 

StockholmWashington DCNairobi

Read more about our different COP26 Broadcasts here:

https://www.wedonthavetime.org/event/cop26

Let’s Participate in Educating ourselves, not wait for any government mandates to happen any time soon, such as FDR’s New Deal with the WPA Works Progress Administration

I just read that “FDR helped lay the groundwork for the post-war peace organization that would become the United Nations”. I didn’t know that the UN is a PEACE ORGANIZATION! Funny how the imbalance of power has tweaked and tilted the un-level playing field over the last decades, manipulated by those with economic thrust, to bludgeon the public with misinformation and disinformation. 

Greenwich Mean Time is 4 hours ahead of Eastern Time

https://dontchooseextinction.com/en/

And don’t forget about all of the other earthlings who share our planet.

7 Species Hit Hard by Climate Change—Including One That’s Already Extinct

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Carol Keiter aka nomadbeatz welcomes donations for her writing, photography, illustrations, eBook and music composition. The PayPal donation button functions in Safari and Firefox, however is broken in Chrome.

Horror Spilling to Grief > Not Halloween Horror, Reality | Insect Armageddon  |  Don’t Choose Extinction

https://globalmindpool.org

global mind pull, attraction globale de l’esprit, globaler Gedankenzug, atracción de la mente global, https://globalmindpool.org

Horror spilling over to grief, are the feelings I have of the human complete disregard and negligence towards all the other species on the planet. Right in the town where I live, and Hershey, the next town over, in this country, and as I posted several hours ago https://digesthis.wordpress.com/2021/10/27/extinction-chinas-relentless-building-and-crush-of-biodiversity/, all over the world. 

Several weeks ago, I was bicycling from a place I ride to for WiFi (7.5 miles each way) to sit and work. Along my route I often see deer, whose habitats have diminished due to relentless building. The deer, like many animals, have become nocturnal, to avoid humans. So have I. I wait till very late at night to bicycle home, along areas that are too dangerous during higher traffic hours, due to the complete non-existence of bicycle and pedestrian infrastructure. 

I notice during my various bicycling routes, rows of trees that promise a forest, but they are like a curtain, a veil that is very thin. It is the pretense, of a forest that is ‘postense’ – no longer there. The forests have disappeared. Beyond the narrow row of trees, is more development or agricultural land. 

I was on my way home bicycling, and except for the occasional roar of a car or truck, in silence, up a narrow path. When suddenly, I was immersed in a raucous chorus of insects. It was as if I had just biked through an invisible wall. I stopped, stunned and delighted. Got off the bike, to witness why this glaringly stark difference existed. The reason, I had come upon a thin strip of a hectic diversity of wild plants and grasses, that had been left to grow. This thin patch was sandwiched between neat and tidy, well-groomed, proudly manicured lawns. Not a hint of a weed such as a dandelion (which is nutritious and medicinal). The property dominated by lawns and parking lots, accommodating our car-centered culture. 

Stop the Obsessive Lawn Mowing, Relentless Building, fracturing of habitats by developments and roads.

In this case, I’m not just referring to the mass extinction of large mammals and wildlife. I’m talking about the methodical cleaning up and sanitizing lawns, and subsequent wiping out complete populations of insects that thrive there. 

The micro level, as humans continue to multiply and feed their desire for material acquisition, consumption and convenience, the construction of more human-dominated places, is equal to the destruction of habitats. 

In particular, I’m talking about the increasing silence of the insects.

Decline in Insect Populations Silence Spreading

“Recent research report on significant decline in insect populations. In Germany a 75 percent decline in total flying insect mass has been observed over a duration of 27 years in natural reserves (Hallmann, 2017[1]). Another study reports on a 45 percent decline in invertebrate populations over the past 40 years based on global monitoring data.”

I recall how the home where I was raised. The house was skirted with bushes and flower beds, where I’d sit outside and watch chipmunks, squirrels, birds and the occasional skunk sauntering by. A complete Habitat for Wildlife. In addition to cover, we provided water. The new property owners tore all the bushes out and decapitated a 50 year old Wistaria with lavish and fragrant blossoms; also a nesting place for birds each spring. 

What were they thinking? Obviously, only of themselves. 

I recently witnessed these other busy with life fields of wild grasses with a proud sign, ‘Pollinator Area’, which were mowed over. Just like the strip of wild grasses where I had the eureka moment about America’s obsession with mowing lawns, crushes biodiversity. The wild grasses, a nuisance, untidy looking, ‘surgically removed’. Hershey wants tidy, pesticide-fueled, manicured lawns.

The experience taught me very clearly, that it is not merely the human activity fallout of carbon dioxide from our vehicle use and the industries that are warming the planet, but that we have been methodically, nonchalantly and unflinchingly killing off –  with our obsession for tidy lawn facades. Reliance on pesticides, kill off everything. Extinguishing the plants that naturally grow (trees, grasses, woodlands, meadows, wetlands) Are killing off the habitats of most insects, rodents, birds and mammals. Why are we so clueless? Oh, that’s right. We learn out of habit, and what is advertised as being inviting and acceptable. And the whole lawn mower ‘industry’, is fueled by the oil and gas industry. We lubricate the engines of our machines to unthinkingly plow down more and more natural habitat. Not to mention, sound pollution. Fences that block the movement of wildlife are also criminal.

The Conversation: What is a ‘mass extinction’ and are we in one now?

Nonhuman Rights Project

Nonhuman Rights Project
#DontChooseExtinction

https://globalmindpool.org

Monbiot’s article, Miracle of Reduction

“What we need, to stand a high chance of stabilising our life support systems, is not slow and incremental change but sudden and drastic action.

“And this is widely considered impossible. There’s no money; governments are powerless; people won’t tolerate anything more ambitious than the tepid measures they have proposed. Or so we are told. It’s a stark illustration of a general rule: political failure is, at heart, a failure of imagination.”

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Carol Keiter aka nomadbeatz welcomes donations for her writing, photography, illustrations, eBook and music composition

The PayPal donation button functions in Safari and Firefox, however is broken in Chrome.

October 22nd is Half-Earth Day – EO Wilson

The biologist E O Wilson, upon seeing the mass extinction taking place on the Earth due to human spoilage and encroachment on habitats, decided to implement Half-Earth > to set aside half of the earth and water in the most biodiverse regions, to ensure the survival, rather than extinction of species. 

It will take all of us, because Climate Catastrophe i.e. Global Warming and the 6th Mass Extinction can be slowed down, if we all stand up and do something to contribute our energy, intention and make the effort to change habits and recognize the part that we play (either contributing to destruction (through continued development and construction) or acting as protectors and being kind and respectful to all other species, rather than being human centric and negligent to all other life on the planet.  

https://half-earthday2021.brandlive.com/half-earth/en/home

Tribute to my Dad – Dr. James M. Keiter – on his birthday October 19th

My daddy, James Marcus Keiter, was born on October 19th, so I’m putting out this tribute to his life. He was kind, very responsible and a devoted husband and father. 

Bleeding Hearts, that grew wild in our back yard.

He was a musician, a clarinetist, throughout high school, college and medical school. He decided not to pursue this career however. He also was a runner on track through college as well as tennis player and skier throughout his adult life.

James Marcus in his youth…running track

He had is medical practice as a physician in the first home in Campbelltown (where he’d do ‘house calls’). Later, he started an Emergency Room unit with several other doctors at the Good Samaritan Hospital in Lebanon.

He had a love for nature, animals and the outdoors, and shared this with his family. 

He and my mother moved to a new home in Palmyra which was built new on a hill, where the two of them planted 50 pine trees and landscaped a lovely yard that was a nature habitat for wildlife. They had a garden and grew herbs as well.

Here’s a link to spring photos in the Keiter yard, where among the pines and other trees, were flower gardens and azalea and rhododendron bushes. They also had a marvelous ebullient wisteria, which had a thick twisted trunk and full aromatic flowers (which the new home owners incredulously chopped down, along with all the bushes that lined the house in the front which were safe places for birds, groundhogs, skunks and chipmunks to pass through and nest).

Our back yard in the home I was raised.

Here’s a link to photos I took one spring of the flowers and trees of our yard.

He painted water colors as he approached retirement, and then prolifically once he retired. Unfortunately these images that I took have a light glare/reflection from my camera, and nativity about how to properly record them. But i did, and here’s the link to his watercolor paintings (and wood carvings). 

James Marcus Keiter watercolor
James Marcus Keiter watercolor Snow Drifts

My mother Lois and he loved to dance and would go out to dances often.

James and Lois Keiter (with Kitty Ulrich, husband Bob not in the pic) – who were each doctors and their best friends.

They also participated in a gourmet club among their friends, as well as getting together to play tennis regularly. 

They learned to snow ski together and introduced this sport to their children, for which I’m very grateful. 

I accompanied them to an outdoor classical music concert.

He was often working in the yard, which was a wonderland growing up. I grew up among pet dogs and cats, for which I’m very fortunate. 

My father had a workshop in the basement where he’d build frames for his paintings and so forth.

He and my mother read a lot together. He devoured books about history. 

They went to art gallery openings and concerts as well as supporting the local high school team sports games. 

Lois and Jim walking with canes in the backyard wildlife habitat they created.

My parents hosted extended family Thanksgiving Dinners every year for 30 + years, where his brothers, and then their children, all gathered for the Turkey and meal which my mother and father prepared. 

Rest in Peace Daddy ~ I appreciate very much the life you gave to me and my sisters and brother and am sure that your father Charles A. Keiter, a Lutheran Minister (who died 4 years before I was born) and mother were proud. 

Paul Simon re EO Wilson’s Half-Earth  |  Paradise Guardian or Destroyer? Our Choice

“Esteemed naturalist and biologist E.O. Wilson and co-founder of the Half-Earth Project appeared at the 2021 Global Live Concert at Central Park, NY as the guest of legendary singer-songwriter Paul Simon

Simon, who is also a Member of the Board of Directors of the E.O. Wilson Biodiversity Foundation, also performed at the Global Live Concert, a 24-hour live event broadcast across six continents, features activists and internationally recognized musicians in a global event to unite the world, defend the planet and defeat poverty.”

Yes, we actually live in a potential paradise, but our heads are submerged in an oil slick; worshipping the military industrialized, oil-driven processes that dominate our natural world. Running the machinery of BIG agriculture, fishing, animal livestock, combustion engines, lawn mowers, blowers…all lubricate our idolatry of objectifying and wishing to dominate everything. Banks and Big business love our mass consumerism. We are completely disconnected from one another and from the natural world. In the meantime, we compete and compare and continue to manufacture and build with full negligence – disinterest about what we’re destroying and the species that we’re wiping off the face of the planet – in our anthropocentric process for our own convenience.

We could stop being wage-slaves and servants to an economy run by a government bribed and beholden to lobbyists of the Oiligarchy, Big Pharma, Insurance, Defense…We could stop deluding ourselves that anything is going to change, as long as the GDP eclipses the value of life – regardless of its cost to the lives of other living creatures. Presently, the Democrats are already fumbling on their promises. Follow the money.

We could start caring and sharing information and working together in our communities to conserve and own our own resources in shared commons. We could act together, to change our destructive patterns and engage with each other and the natural world, rather than incessantly trying to control and wipe out nature in oblivious distraction. We can instead focus on being guardians and protectors of our planet and wild places. 

Guarding Half-Earth (half of the most biodiverse regions of the earth and seas) to ensure the survival of species who are increasingly threatened, will only happen when all of us get involved. We are of the earth. We need to value it for what it is, alive, respect it and take actions together through love and appreciation for the wonders of the world and each living species. 

The only way. is to step away from the Me First, My Country First, My Town First, My Team First, White People First mentality; when we genuinely let these Barriers and Walls fall.  We can create a culture rich in spirituality and meaning through being our best selves and having full care, to insure that all people exist together in harmony together with all other life forms. We can extend our own individual power and hearts, as we extend ourselves beyond our own immediate families and our front doors. 

I believe that the patriotic cries of ‘America First’ are a demonstration of complete insanity, and the religious right are the most beguiled (as the concept is irreverently non-Christian). Just as well if they reject vaccines and their population numbers decline. The misguided, who value Dumph and think he is a savior on the working man’s side, are fully deluded by the far-right narratives pumping out fear and hate-driven disinformation.

Robert Reich wrote on 8/31/21 to MoveOn Members:

“Erik Prince, a private military contractor (and Betsy DeVos’s brother), was just caught charging Afghans desperate to flee the Taliban $6,500 a seat for flights out of the country. White House Press Secretary Jen Psaki condemned his despicable actions, saying, “I don’t think any human being who has a heart and soul would support efforts to profit off of people’s agony and pain.” And she’s right. While the war in Afghanistan was a disastrous failure on many fronts, for weapons manufacturers and other warmongering corporations—many of which wield massive influence over U.S. foreign policy—it was an extraordinarily profitable success.”

Tom Dispatch: William Astore Military Strength is Our National Religion

https://www.dailykos.com/stories/2021/9/20/2053311/-Tomgram-William-Astore-A-Bright-Future-for-Weapons-and-War

Promises of ‘jobs’, and elevating the ‘economy’ to the primary purpose of life and its value, without any consideration of the affect on the natural world, is a hoax. How do you measure the worth of Paradise? This capitalism-based economy, with its requisite need to continually manufacture more and more and continually bent towards making quarterly profits, is not sustainable in a finite world. We are slaves to Big Business Robber Barons who have bought out our collective psyches, precisely what the Oiligarchy wants. We are fucked, unless some charismatic figure who is aware and genuinely heartful , appears, who can powerfully engage the populace and convince us emotionally, to begin together taking a new path. Global warming, mass extinction, mass violence, mass addiction and mass immigration, is not a hoax. Those profiting from our incognizance of what to prioritize in our short and unique time spent on this earth, don’t want you to be conscious of the fact that if we, the people, demonstrably act in unison to take back our lives and devote our time to resuscitating the Natural World, we will have a peaceful, loving, connected paradise of clean air, water, nutritious soil….once we’ve cut the source of the poisons out of the equation.

 Hafez (حافظ, Ḥāfeẓ, ‘the memorizer; the (safe) keeper’; 1315-1390) and as “Hafiz”, was a Persian poet whose collected works are regarded by many Iranians as a pinnacle of Persian literature

Carol Keiter aka nomadbeatz welcomes donations for her writing, photography, illustrations, eBook and music composition

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Quatre Septembre | Day father James Marcus Keiter died 2012 | Listen to Intuition

Today is the 4th of September. It is the day my father died, in 2012. I paid attention to this date when I saw a street with its name in Aix-en-Provence, France. When i googled in English, i found no reference, until I wrote quatre septembre and then it appeared. http://parisisinvisible.blogspot.com/2011/09/what-happened-on-quatre-septembre.html

“This particular September 4th was in 1870, and it marked the moment that a group of individuals in Paris proclaimed the beginning of a new Republic (the third) following the capture of Napoleon III by the Prussians in Sedan.”

My father was a musician, as was his mother. I played piano again at this building with a piano within their antique store, where the woman has gifted me with flowers and then local corn on the cob for my playing. This last Sunday I played really well, sensitively, fluidly. I was only under the influence of a full stomach and espresso. It’s the second Sunday in a row I’ve created the time to go there with my Classical piano music book. I remembered that when I was a kid, my father’s mother would join the family for a Sunday dinner and always play piano during her visit. I am carrying on her tradition, i thought to myself. 

My father also loved paint, dance and was a history enthusiast. I carry on these traditions. Thank you Daddy.

My father was dutiful and pragmatic. He relinquished the life of a clarinet musician to instead become a doctor to provide for his family. He warned me of not relying on art, or music and warned me of the last boyfriend with whom I was still in a codependent relationship, long after he ditched me. My father was an empath.

This article title popped up on my screen when I plugged into the WiFi network after bicycling to the closed library to sit outside of it. I ride miles and miles to different locations where I can plug in: to WiFi and electricity. I plugged the title words into google and it appeared. https://highlysensitiverefuge.com/9-secret-powers-of-highly-sensitive-people/

Frankly, I thought I would identify with it, and in many cases do ‘as far as aiming to save the natural world from humans’ and then in other respects I  don’t. I looked up ‘the opposite of empath’. Oh shit, it’s a narcissist. I guess I am a bit of both.

Last night on my way riding bicycle back from the next town, Hershey, with a palatable bar, I came upon a deer, a fawn, in the middle of the road, struggling to move. It was able to move three legs, struggling to get up. Horrified, I put down my bike off the road and tried to move it. Cars came. I swung my arms. Girls got out of their vehicle, one helped me to carry the deer off the road. They then left. I stayed with the deer. Didn’t know who to call. A man along the road said to call 911. I am upset by how the Policeman who arrived, responded. I was stroking the deer, holding her neck in my arms, trying to soothe her. The Policeman, without getting close enough to even check out the deer’s condition, announced for me to “get away lady, you are prolonging he deer’s misery.” The deer was only slightly wounded, the leg. He said that there is no place to take it. It will be shot. I was yelling as I was leaving, venting my anger about people driving so fast, hit and run. Police offering no other option without having even investigated, close-minded, thug mentality.

My plan had been to eject myself from the United States of Apathy (an example of why I am not exactly an ‘empath’). I don’t flow in and redistribute the energy to a harmonious new direction. I express my annoyance and all of my feelings, when I find people doing things that I think are irresponsible to others and unconscionable to the rest of the living world. 

I guess I can waver from feeling socially awkward and lacking in confidence, to feeling proud and annoyed with human behavior that I feel derives from not considering the larger picture.

So, just as I was sitting in Palmyra ‘pondering’ the upcoming UN Climate talks COP21 in Paris and then in a series of days I learned that an ex lover was involved in this, and within 2 weeks, I made the decision and went to Paris. Staying in a hotel reserved for the group of activists coming from all over the world and sharing their stories at the ‘placetobe’, was one of the more enriching and nourishing experiences I’ve ever had. I was and am passionately focused on  extending my knowledge and understanding. One of these people I met there and with whom  I’m connected on FB, had this message about the ‘pilgrimage to the upcoming COP26 in Glasgow, Scotland in November. I had this on my radar, as a deadline. 

I was planning to move back to Europe soon, and thinking Portugal this time, because once again, I cower to the living expenses and overhead. Lessons not learned from my father.

The plan Portugal, with the knowledge in the back of my head of COP26 in Glasgow. Then two separate event celebrations popped up in September in the USA, separate sides of the country, but doable. I contacted several different factions of the people who I befriended 22 years ago in San Francisco when I lived there. I have an odd human habit of not staying in touch when I’m not in the same physical space, despite things like internet, telephones and facebook. I think we are all a bit tribal, yet, most have more responsibilities and families to hone into. 

I said yes to the wedding invitation in Providence, Rhode Island and began investigating rail travel. Pretty expensive for me, didn’t book it. I announced and tagged several people including the organizer of the street faire that I wanted to attend on the west coast in San Francisco, CA. Last time I hitched to San Francisco from Tucson, Arizona to attend this event The Howweird Street Faire (6 years ago or so), and never found any of the people whom I had known. The event had grown enormously. That was weird. I hitched back not having seen any of my former housemates and people i danced with. 

On the way to SF, which it now looked like I was going to hitch, I was thinking of doing a detour to help indigenous ‘water protectors’ in opposition to Pipeline 3 in Minnesota, yet having contacted them, the timing is off, I have to be willing to get arrested and frankly, the point was to get to SF, CA. 

So I decided this time to in advance, contact some people announcing I was going to be in their area. Here’s where the empath comes in. It occurred to me, that just like my former frisbee friend, when I wrote a long letter through LinkedIn, and never heard back from him, I thought to myself, maybe NONE of these people are going to respond, AT ALL, in which case, why go to San Francisco at all. Montreal, never been there, francophone, it’s only 7 rather than a 44 hour hitch, and it’s in the neighborhood of Providence. I’ve been thanks to Covid, keeping up with my french conversation group through 2020, on zoom. All the people whom I sat around a table with weekly at the Alliance Française, in Providence, Rhode Island, speaking French with one another. 

Okay, So I will travel with wedding attire and sleeping bag. The indigenous person answered my email inquiry, Let’s see if SustainaClaus, the Canadian man whom I met in Paris at the COP21 ‘placetobe’ who has been living in China, will have responded to me. He is a busy man, yet somehow I think he may have found the time.

Things emerge and guide, as one listens. 

https://en.m.wikipedia.org/wiki/Emergence

I do have the discipline of my father, however, I am definitely following a very different path. I  remember my father calling me ‘hyper’ one time. I actually was convinced that I could apply for a medical marijuana license as a classic ADHD. I have very high energy, and was never diagnosed with Attention-deficit/hyperactivity disorder. A chronic condition including attention difficulty, hyperactivity, and impulsiveness…failed relationships. I have self-medicated all my life doing sports> running 3-5 miles, ultimate frisbee, swimming (when i can), bicycling, skiing, tinkering with technical projects, doing art, practicing music, painting, traveling, moving. 

the long of it:

After I was rejected from this last group house community where I didn’t quite fit in, that I’d circle back to the northeast and Pennsylvania, to my storage locker. I was now carrying skis and two pairs of ski boots and more boxes after passing by Taos, New Mexico where I had been storing this stuff in my friend’s house. I also thought, enough already. Since my affordable housing got covided out in Providence, Rhode Island, and I proceeded to investigate and chase ‘house exchange’ programs and then move back to where I had a lot of work several years ago in Santa Fe, New Mexico (substitute teaching during the weeks and a 1st year adult ski instructor on the weekends and holidays. It fit together perfectly. However, when I inquired to the ski school, covid now reduced the staff to last years’ return instructors. So, I continued searching for ‘affordable housing’, in Statesboro and Savannah Georgia in Asheville, North Carolina. But it doesn’t exist, at least, tougher when you are single. Ironically, after 11 days of sleeping outside with my linens and sleeping bag, I have found an affordable place, and swiftly found items to furnish the room … there are some undesirable characters there….yet I feel safe.

I’ve come to Hotel Hershey to plug in and then will go to dance to cap off the night. I took my bass guitar to my storage unit today, Sept. 4th and grabbed a bungee chord, some magic markers to make hitchhiking signs, and have been preparing. Montreal borders are open. Have my Passport and CDC Covid Vaccination card. Not quite sure where I will go. Will see what emerges.

—,-,-,,-,

quatre sept 

This proclamation brought to an end France’s second empire, but as it also coincided with the invasion of France by the Prussians, its constitutional laws weren’t actually voted until 1875. The September 4th date is therefore a purely symbolic one.”