Quatre Septembre | Day father James Marcus Keiter died 2012 | Listen to Intuition
September 4, 2021 2 Comments
Today is the 4th of September. It is the day my father died, in 2012. I paid attention to this date when I saw a street with its name in Aix-en-Provence, France. When i googled in English, i found no reference, until I wrote quatre septembre and then it appeared. http://parisisinvisible.blogspot.com/2011/09/what-happened-on-quatre-septembre.html
“This particular September 4th was in 1870, and it marked the moment that a group of individuals in Paris proclaimed the beginning of a new Republic (the third) following the capture of Napoleon III by the Prussians in Sedan.”
My father was a musician, as was his mother. I played piano again at this building with a piano within their antique store, where the woman has gifted me with flowers and then local corn on the cob for my playing. This last Sunday I played really well, sensitively, fluidly. I was only under the influence of a full stomach and espresso. It’s the second Sunday in a row I’ve created the time to go there with my Classical piano music book. I remembered that when I was a kid, my father’s mother would join the family for a Sunday dinner and always play piano during her visit. I am carrying on her tradition, i thought to myself.
My father also loved paint, dance and was a history enthusiast. I carry on these traditions. Thank you Daddy.
My father was dutiful and pragmatic. He relinquished the life of a clarinet musician to instead become a doctor to provide for his family. He warned me of not relying on art, or music and warned me of the last boyfriend with whom I was still in a codependent relationship, long after he ditched me. My father was an empath.
This article title popped up on my screen when I plugged into the WiFi network after bicycling to the closed library to sit outside of it. I ride miles and miles to different locations where I can plug in: to WiFi and electricity. I plugged the title words into google and it appeared. https://highlysensitiverefuge.com/9-secret-powers-of-highly-sensitive-people/
Frankly, I thought I would identify with it, and in many cases do ‘as far as aiming to save the natural world from humans’ and then in other respects I don’t. I looked up ‘the opposite of empath’. Oh shit, it’s a narcissist. I guess I am a bit of both.
Last night on my way riding bicycle back from the next town, Hershey, with a palatable bar, I came upon a deer, a fawn, in the middle of the road, struggling to move. It was able to move three legs, struggling to get up. Horrified, I put down my bike off the road and tried to move it. Cars came. I swung my arms. Girls got out of their vehicle, one helped me to carry the deer off the road. They then left. I stayed with the deer. Didn’t know who to call. A man along the road said to call 911. I am upset by how the Policeman who arrived, responded. I was stroking the deer, holding her neck in my arms, trying to soothe her. The Policeman, without getting close enough to even check out the deer’s condition, announced for me to “get away lady, you are prolonging he deer’s misery.” The deer was only slightly wounded, the leg. He said that there is no place to take it. It will be shot. I was yelling as I was leaving, venting my anger about people driving so fast, hit and run. Police offering no other option without having even investigated, close-minded, thug mentality.
My plan had been to eject myself from the United States of Apathy (an example of why I am not exactly an ‘empath’). I don’t flow in and redistribute the energy to a harmonious new direction. I express my annoyance and all of my feelings, when I find people doing things that I think are irresponsible to others and unconscionable to the rest of the living world.
I guess I can waver from feeling socially awkward and lacking in confidence, to feeling proud and annoyed with human behavior that I feel derives from not considering the larger picture.
So, just as I was sitting in Palmyra ‘pondering’ the upcoming UN Climate talks COP21 in Paris and then in a series of days I learned that an ex lover was involved in this, and within 2 weeks, I made the decision and went to Paris. Staying in a hotel reserved for the group of activists coming from all over the world and sharing their stories at the ‘placetobe’, was one of the more enriching and nourishing experiences I’ve ever had. I was and am passionately focused on extending my knowledge and understanding. One of these people I met there and with whom I’m connected on FB, had this message about the ‘pilgrimage to the upcoming COP26 in Glasgow, Scotland in November. I had this on my radar, as a deadline.
I was planning to move back to Europe soon, and thinking Portugal this time, because once again, I cower to the living expenses and overhead. Lessons not learned from my father.
The plan Portugal, with the knowledge in the back of my head of COP26 in Glasgow. Then two separate event celebrations popped up in September in the USA, separate sides of the country, but doable. I contacted several different factions of the people who I befriended 22 years ago in San Francisco when I lived there. I have an odd human habit of not staying in touch when I’m not in the same physical space, despite things like internet, telephones and facebook. I think we are all a bit tribal, yet, most have more responsibilities and families to hone into.
I said yes to the wedding invitation in Providence, Rhode Island and began investigating rail travel. Pretty expensive for me, didn’t book it. I announced and tagged several people including the organizer of the street faire that I wanted to attend on the west coast in San Francisco, CA. Last time I hitched to San Francisco from Tucson, Arizona to attend this event The Howweird Street Faire (6 years ago or so), and never found any of the people whom I had known. The event had grown enormously. That was weird. I hitched back not having seen any of my former housemates and people i danced with.
On the way to SF, which it now looked like I was going to hitch, I was thinking of doing a detour to help indigenous ‘water protectors’ in opposition to Pipeline 3 in Minnesota, yet having contacted them, the timing is off, I have to be willing to get arrested and frankly, the point was to get to SF, CA.
So I decided this time to in advance, contact some people announcing I was going to be in their area. Here’s where the empath comes in. It occurred to me, that just like my former frisbee friend, when I wrote a long letter through LinkedIn, and never heard back from him, I thought to myself, maybe NONE of these people are going to respond, AT ALL, in which case, why go to San Francisco at all. Montreal, never been there, francophone, it’s only 7 rather than a 44 hour hitch, and it’s in the neighborhood of Providence. I’ve been thanks to Covid, keeping up with my french conversation group through 2020, on zoom. All the people whom I sat around a table with weekly at the Alliance Française, in Providence, Rhode Island, speaking French with one another.
Okay, So I will travel with wedding attire and sleeping bag. The indigenous person answered my email inquiry, Let’s see if SustainaClaus, the Canadian man whom I met in Paris at the COP21 ‘placetobe’ who has been living in China, will have responded to me. He is a busy man, yet somehow I think he may have found the time.
Things emerge and guide, as one listens.
I do have the discipline of my father, however, I am definitely following a very different path. I remember my father calling me ‘hyper’ one time. I actually was convinced that I could apply for a medical marijuana license as a classic ADHD. I have very high energy, and was never diagnosed with Attention-deficit/hyperactivity disorder. A chronic condition including attention difficulty, hyperactivity, and impulsiveness…failed relationships. I have self-medicated all my life doing sports> running 3-5 miles, ultimate frisbee, swimming (when i can), bicycling, skiing, tinkering with technical projects, doing art, practicing music, painting, traveling, moving.
the long of it:
After I was rejected from this last group house community where I didn’t quite fit in, that I’d circle back to the northeast and Pennsylvania, to my storage locker. I was now carrying skis and two pairs of ski boots and more boxes after passing by Taos, New Mexico where I had been storing this stuff in my friend’s house. I also thought, enough already. Since my affordable housing got covided out in Providence, Rhode Island, and I proceeded to investigate and chase ‘house exchange’ programs and then move back to where I had a lot of work several years ago in Santa Fe, New Mexico (substitute teaching during the weeks and a 1st year adult ski instructor on the weekends and holidays. It fit together perfectly. However, when I inquired to the ski school, covid now reduced the staff to last years’ return instructors. So, I continued searching for ‘affordable housing’, in Statesboro and Savannah Georgia in Asheville, North Carolina. But it doesn’t exist, at least, tougher when you are single. Ironically, after 11 days of sleeping outside with my linens and sleeping bag, I have found an affordable place, and swiftly found items to furnish the room … there are some undesirable characters there….yet I feel safe.
I’ve come to Hotel Hershey to plug in and then will go to dance to cap off the night. I took my bass guitar to my storage unit today, Sept. 4th and grabbed a bungee chord, some magic markers to make hitchhiking signs, and have been preparing. Montreal borders are open. Have my Passport and CDC Covid Vaccination card. Not quite sure where I will go. Will see what emerges.
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quatre sept
This proclamation brought to an end France’s second empire, but as it also coincided with the invasion of France by the Prussians, its constitutional laws weren’t actually voted until 1875. The September 4th date is therefore a purely symbolic one.”
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